So isn't it time you moved in with me now, Future-Mrs Deadpool?
by KittyKatZorse
Summary: Missy's self-proclaimed BFF-turned boyfriend-turned fiancé is ruining her life one embarrassing moment at a time. Perhaps they'll find some time in between making-out and Wade causing chaos to plan the rest of their lives together…or maybe not? Wade/OC Missy. Series of one-shots starring your favourite couple. Sequel to Can't you stay over again tonight like any normal BFF?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all, I'm back with another in the Missy/Wade series.**

 **This is a sequel to my oneshot series- Cant you just stay over again tonight like any normal BFF? I hope you like it...this will also be a series of little oneshots about their lives.**

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It was a quiet Tuesday morning at Stark Towers, and Missy was sat at her desk, editing the minutes of a meeting she had sat in on this morning.

Steve, Tony, Clint and most of the other Avengers had been present at said meeting. But it, as always, had descended into chaos, as the entire team bickered about the most inane things, yet again…

Missy finished up, saving her document and attaching it in an email to get boss, Pepper, before leaning back in her seat and toying with her pen.

Her stomach let out a low rumble.

It almost lunchtime and Missy was already starving.

But, as if reading her mind, there came a sudden cheery voice right behind her.

"Hey sugar-dimples," uttered Wade, causing Missy to swing around in her chair, gazing up at the masked merc, who was at this moment strutting towards her. "Fuck me, that dress looks fucking gorgeous on you by the way."

Missy narrowed her eyes at him as he stopped beside her, flexing the muscles beneath his red and black spandex-suit.

"What have you done?" she asked him suspiciously. She had on just a simple navy blue, tight-fitting dress that fell to the knees and a pair of black patent heels. She had definitely worn this outfit in front of the merc before…

Wade gave a scowl behind his mask, placing a hand to his chest acting affronted.

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?" he said in an innocent voice. "Can a guy not compliment his gorgeous, hot, BFF-turned-girlfriend-turned future-wife once in a while?"

Missy tutted.

"What are you doing here, Wade?" she asked shooting him a look. "It better be lunch, because I am starving!"

"Well luckily for you," said the merc happily, plonking down a brown paper bag, that smelt suspiciously like french fries, onto her desk. "I am a fucking fantastic fiancé."

Missy smiled as Wade pulled up a chair, coming to sit beside her.

No-one in the office even batted an eye at his presence.

Wade frequented the SHEILD offices so often to come and bother her, that he practically had his own visitor pass.

"So where did you get to last night?" Missy asked him after a moment or two as Wade passed her a paper-wrapped hamburger. "I didn't hear you come home until like 3am."

Wade had been out in a job all evening. Usually he tried to make it back for bedtime but not last night…

Missy had vaguely been woken around 3am feeling Wade slip into bed beside her, smelling strongly of gunpowder, his arm snaking around her waist.

"Ugh don't even get me started on last night's job," he said grumpily, propping his feet up on the side of her chair. He let his masked head fall back, giving a loud groan. "I used up like a tonne of ammo killing a bunch of bad guys only for some fucking asshole dressed as an ant to come in and steal my fucking score. A fucking ant!"

Missy smirked.

"I think I might have heard of this guy," she said wiping her mouth gently on a napkin before turning back to her PC. She clicked into a few files. "Here we go."

She brought up a profile on the screen, scooting over for Wade to take a look.

The merc immediately dropped his feet to the ground, standing and coming to lean over her.

"Yeah, that's the fucking guy!" said Wade irritably. "Cheated me out of two hundred and fifty-thousand smackeroos!"

Missy smiled over at Wade as he came to sit back down, plucking moodily at a limp-french fry.

"Awwww babe…" She said sympathetically, patting his knee. "If it's any consolation I think Sam Wilson's got his card marked."

But the merc gave a scowl behind his mask.

"Pfft, The fucking Falcon? Wow, he's about as scary as a Disney Pixar movie," he said in a playful tone. "No what I really need, is to fuck this guy up. I don't need any help from some second rate Avenger-"

"Hey Deadpool, can't you leave the poor girl in peace just for once?" came the sudden voice of Steve Rogers.

The blue spandex-clad superhero strutted across the office floor towards them.

Wade scowled deepened.

"Or a first rate one for that matter," he said in a simpering voice, as Steve appeared at their side. "What do you want Captain Crunch?"

Steve shot Wade an innocent look.

"Nothing," said the blonde man with a shrug. "I was just coming up here to see if Missy wanted to come to lunch with me?"

Wade looked at incredulously at her, raising his non-existent eyebrows behind his mask.

"Look babe," said Missy smiling calmingly. "Don't freak…"

"Don't-…..wait a second. Hold the fuck up. Do you mean to tell me that you have been going on lunch dates with Old Ice Balls here? Meanwhile I'm sitting at home slaving away…"

Missy gave him a look, shaking her head.

"When have you ever slaved away at anything Wade?" she said smirking. "You have the attention span of a Labrador puppy."

"Yeah the cutest fucking Labrador puppy you've ever seen in your life," Wade said snappily. "But that is beside the point. Are you cheating on me with Steve 'make America great again' Rogers?"

At their side Steve gave a frown.

But Missy managed a long sigh.

"I'm not cheating on you baby," she said reassuringly. "I've just been helping Steve out with some….."

She glanced up at the blonde avenger.

"….things…"

Wade instantly narrowed his white eyes at her.

"And by 'things', do you mean his frozen Popsicle penis, moon of my life?" asked the merc in a sickly-sweet tone.

Missy gave him a look, but Steve cut across her before she could answer.

"Think what you like, Wilson," uttered Steve shaking his head. He looked to Missy. "Maybe I'll catch you tomorrow."

And with that, he turned on his heel, heading toward the elevators.

Missy leaning back in her chair, turned back to Wade, grinning.

"Don't start all this again, babe," she said In a gentle tone.

Wade frowned, spinning around in his chair to face her. He suddenly leaned in, placing a hand to the chair either side of her, his mask twisted into a dark grimace.

"If I fucking find out that he's even been thinking about flirting with you, you know I'm going to kill him right?" said the merc darkly.

Missy gave a knowing nod.

"Of course," she said matter-of-factly, admiring her nails and giving him a shove away. "But I think Steve might be saving his flirting for other people nowadays…"

With that, Missy gestured over towards the elevators to where Steve was stood, hands placed awkwardly on his hips, talking to Sharon Carter.

"Ohhhhhh," said Wade gazing over, before staring back at Missy. "Is that still even a thing?"

"It never was a thing, that was the problem," said Missy lowering her voice. "That's why Steve's been cornering me over lunch for the past couple of weeks… He's trying to get some…advice."

"Advice? Like looooove advice?" Asked Wade, perking up slightly, entwining his fingers in a mocking gesture and batting his eyelashes behind his white eyes. "Oooooh, Cap and Sharon sitting in a tree…. K.I.S.S.I.N….Geeeeez…he IS a terrible flirt isn't he?!"

Wade leant back in his chair watching as Steve shifted his weight from foot to foot, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly, as Sharon blushed.

"I think he's just nervous," said Missy picking up a French-fry and taking a bite. "Yesterday he was asking me what her favourite food was and what she likes to do on the weekends. It was….cute."

"Ahhh, young love," said Wade leaning back in his chair, placing his arms behind his head and propping his feet back up on Missy's chair once again. "You remember when we were like that, my succulent sweetie-buns?"

Missy rolled her eyes.

"No, I remember you flirting with me like crazy and telling me you wanted to fuck me every minute of every day," she said narrowing her eyes at him. "And look at me now, I fell for it. Hook line and sinker."

Wade gave a grin. "It was obviously my charm, good looks and amazing sense of humour that did it for you," said Wade giving a relaxed sigh, shifting down further in his seat.

Missy gave an 'ughhh' pushing his feet off her chair, causing the merc to almost topple over in his seat.

"I think you just wore me down," she uttered teasingly, biting at her lip and turning back to her PC.

This time it was Wade's turn to narrow his eyes at her. He was quiet for a long moment, watching her carefully.

"Sooooo," she uttered after a minute or so. "This ant guy….you got any more info on him?"

Wade tugged up his mask a little, revealing his scared mouth, before reaching across and taking a bite out of Missy's half-eaten hamburger.

Missy cocked an eye in his direction.

"Wait a minute is this the only reason you're here?" she asked giving as scowl. "To get intel on Ant-Man?"

Wade looked guilty, pulling his mask down again.

"Maaaaybe," he uttered, wincing slightly, causing Missy to give an instant huff.

"But baby…..baby," said Wade quickly scooting his chair closer to her. "I kinda neeeeeed to find him….like I said, he has my two hundred and fifty-grand payout."

Missy frowned.

"So….?" she murmured, scrolling her mouse over the screen of her PC.

Wade always had plenty of jobs lined up. Money was never really an issue for him or something he ever really brought up… Until now that was….

"Well…my darling….my sweetness…..my honey-bunny….." he began, shooting her a sickly-sweet smile.

Missy's frown darkened suddenly.

"What have you done Wade?" she asked icily, staring over at him.

The merc gave a small gulp.

"Well I kinda…..already spent the two hundred and fifty thou….." He said quietly.

Missy paused for a frighteningly long moment, as Wade glanced this way and that….looking for a possible getaway route.

"You spent two hundred and fifty thousand dollars?" she asked in a dangerous tone, her now black eyes narrowed. "On what exactly?"

Wade managed another gulp, pulling at the collar of his suit nervously.

"A….um…..a….. tank," he uttered eventually.

"A fucking tank?" snarled Missy. "You bought a tank? We live in the middle of a frikkin' city! Who do you think you are? The eye-patch guy from the Walking Dead?"

"But my precious aaaaangel-" began Wade in a pleading tone.

"Don't you dare try and sweet talk me, Wade Wilson!" said Missy in a hushed tone, as a couple of her work colleagues glanced over at them interestedly. "….when did this even happen? Where is it?"

Wade looked at her sheepishly.

"I sort of….might have….crashed it…" he said, manoeuvring his chair away from her ever so slightly, bracing himself for impact.

And he was right to, as Missy's hand collided with his bicep.

"I am going to kill you Wade Winston Wilson!" she cried through gritted teeth.

Turning back to her PC and clicking a few buttons. The printer beside her suddenly sprung into life, pouring out sheet after sheet of print-outs.

"You owe me big time for this!" she said shoving the papers into his gloved hands finally.

Wade glanced down to see that they contained all the intel SHEILD currently had on Ant-Man aka Scott Lang.

Wade beamed, getting to his feet.

"You, my fucking gorgeous, super-hot, future wife to be, are so fucking perfect, did I ever tell you that?" uttered Wade adoringly.

"Yes but you definitely need to tell me more," said Missy in an irritable tone. But suddenly a small smile appeared on her lips… "But like I said…. I guess you owe me one now…."

Wade stared apprehensively down at her as her lips curved up into a devilish grin.

"So In that case I guess you won't be able to say no to going on a double date with Steve and Sharon this weekend will you?" Missy said with a nod.

Wade scowled for the longest of minutes before giving a huff, tossing back his masked head in defeat.

"Alright, fiiiiiiine!" he said with a moan, before sitting up and pointing at her. "But I am not going anywhere that involves patriotism or star-spangled banners….I'm fucking Canadian! I can't be seen dead getting involved in that…are we clear?"

But Missy had already turned back to her PC, ignoring him.

She gave an easy wave of her hand, leaning back in her swivel chair, slender legs crossed beneath her desk.

"Whatever you say, baby…" she said disinterestedly.

Wade gave a growl beneath his breath, getting to his feet and brandishing the paperwork she had passed to him, irritably.

"Oh so this is how it is? I put a ring on it and all you can do is ignore me?" he said in a pouting tone, flexing his spandex-covered muscles. "Well let's see how you ignore me when I drive you home later on tonight in a tank!"

He raised his eyebrows fiendishly beneath his mask.

Missy raised an eyebrow herself, but didn't give him the satisfaction of turning around.

"I thought you _crashed_ your tank?" she asked boredly, clicking on the screen of her computer.

But Wade gave an easy shrug, fanning himself with the paperwork in his hand.

"Well after I've used this intel on the Ant-douche, and got my quarter of a million dollars back I can buy myself another one can't I?"

It took Missy a second to realise what the merc had just said, but before she could even turn around, Wade had skipped away, leaving her gaping after him….

Just at that moment, Sharon Carter strolled past Missy's desk, looking back at Wade before shooting Missy a questioning look.

But Missy merely gave a huff.

"Remind me why I'm marrying him again?" she said shaking her head, as Sharon let out a long laugh.

* * *

 **Do you think I should carry? What do you think so far?**

 **Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**It has been an age since I updated this fic. So I hope some of you are interested.**

 **Just so you know it's almost been a whole year since I began writing my Wade and Missy fics. So I hope you have enjoyed them so far and hopefully there will be more to come.**

* * *

Deadpool scowled through his mask, his gun raised aloft, as the rain fell all around him.

As always he was surrounded.

Not that that made any difference to him.

He knew that, although he might lose a limb or two, this was a far better alternative than what awaited him at home tonight…

One of the heavily armed men nearest to him let out a menacing growl, scraping the large meat-cleaver he was holding, along the ground intimidatingly.

But behind his mask, Wade gave a roll of his eyes.

"Come on fellas," he said in a playful tone. "Can't you do a bit better than the same old fucking routine…mix it up a little?"

The merc gave a shrug of his shoulders and a hearty sigh.

"Why not duelling pistols at dawn?" he suggested, lowing his own gun and shaking his head. "Or how about a _Die-Hard With A Vengeance_ -style mystery to solve? Huh? Why is it me that has to come up with all the sweet-ass ideas? Isn't it about time you guys came up with something fun to entertain me? Pfft. It's all take take take with you, isn't it?"

Another man with a scrubby strawberry-blonde beard took a step towards Wade, his teeth gritted and a large claw hammer raised before him.

"Enough with your chit chat, Deadpool," said the man with a thick accent. "You promised us fifty thousand-"

"Now _that_ I'm working on," said Wade pointing at the guy with his gloved finger.

"-And yet instead you frame my brother and steal our money-" the man continued taking a further step towards the merc.

But Wade merely tossed back his head, giving a loud groan. "Ughhhh, would you quit with the fucking whining already. It's all ' _you framed my brother for murder'_ this and ' _you owe us fifty thou'_ that, with you lot these days? Where the fucking romance gone huh? The thrill of the fight?"

But the man gave a furious swing with his hammer. "ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES!" he roared, missing the merc's masked his by a mere breath. "THIS ENDS NOW!"

But Wade looked nonplussed and barely winced as a bullet, shot by one of the other men, flew right through his left shoulder.

"Hey!," he said dismissively, checking how much ammo he had left in the gun in his hand. "That's not very nice. That's my favourite shoulder- OUCH!"

Wade turned in the rain soaked alleyway, to see the man who had been holding the meat cleaver standing just a foot away from him- now, _without_ his meat cleaver, which instead was impaled through the back of Wade's skull.

"Hey no fair!" said the merc extracting the weapon from his head with a squelch, his mask twisting up into a dark scowl, before shooting the man straight between the eyes.

Blood splattered across the rain soaked wall behind him and the man collapsed to the ground, dead.

There came a loud yell and before the merc knew it there were bullets flying to and fro and bodies grabbing at his every limb.

But Wade could hold his own, and it didn't take him a second to shoot another of the men through the testicles whilst simultaneously gouging out another of the men's eyes.

The masked mercenary was just in the middle of grabbing the ginger bearded man in a headlock when all of a sudden-

 ** _And I was like baby, baby, baby oooooh…_**

 ** _Like baby baby baby ooooooohhh…._**

Suddenly the men all froze all looking at one another.

Whilst it took at least a few seconds for Wade to realise that the loud Justin Bieber song was currently coming from his utility belt.

"Oh, well, this is embarrassing," he said extracting his ringing phone and holding it to his masked ear.

He knew exactly who was calling…he could almost hear her fretting down the line.

"Well if it isn't the future Mrs Deadpool," he asked in a sing-song voice, as he held a finger up to silence everyone around him. "Everything ok my sweetness, my sugar-dimples, my Missy with the ass that just don't quitty-"

"Shut up Wade," she snarled down the phone. "You know you were supposed to be home an hour ago. They're going to be here any minute-"

Wade gave a visible gulp.

An angry Missy was never a good thing…

"But honey-munchkin-" he tried, but Missy almost instantly cut him down.

"Don't try buttering me up Wade Wilson because it won't work. I reminded you a million times you needed to be home by six tonight so there is no excuse," she said through clenched teeth.

In fairness she wasn't lying.

She had reminded him last night when she had gotten home, right before they had had a heavy couch make-out session and some sex….then again just after they had had some pre-bedtime sex….and then again this morning after they had had some hot and soapy shower sex….

"Do we have too much sex?" Wade murmured in a whisper, more to himself that anything else, causing the men to stare at him with confusion on their faces.

"What?!" snapped Missy angrily, snapping Wade out of his daydream.

He blinked a couple of times.

No.

There was no way they could ever have too much sex. Pfft.

"Listen," said the merc a little sternly. "None of this is my fault. If you're looking for someone to blame try-"

Wade's white eyes slowly travelled across to the strawberry-blonde bearded man stood beside him, claw hammer still in hand.

"Randy Bernard-Baldwin," he said, naming the guy standing next to him who stared up at Wade frowning. "Him and his gang have me cornered-"

"No we fucking don't!" said Randy with a grumpy huff, brushing himself down.

But Wade held the phone away from him, covering the mouthpiece and scowling.

"Shhhh, just fucking play along, Randy," he hissed before placing the phone to his ear once again. "Stop being such a mother-fucking tattle-tale alright?"

"I knew you would do this, Wade," said Missy down the line, sounding stressed. "It's only a double date!"

"Yeah, with Old Captain ice-balls and his significant other," said the merc with pout. "Sounds like a fucking riot. In fact, I'd rather have an enema with a rusty-"

"I hate you sometimes, Wade," said Missy with a heavy sigh, he could hear here pacing across the kitchen floor on her high heels. "I ask you to do this one thing for me-"

"UGHHHH, GODDDDD, FIIIIIINNE!" said Wade loudly and dramatically. "But I better get lots and lots of thank you sex after all this is over and you'd better not be thinking of the Star-Spangled douchebag while we're doing it either!"

"You're an asshole," Missy uttered.

But Wade merely smiled beneath the mask. "I love you too, shnuckums!" he purred. "Now can I get back to kicking ass and taking names, honey-dumpling?"

Missy seemed to tut down the line.

"You've got ten minutes, Wade!" she said warningly. "And if you are not back here within those ten minutes I'm going to kill you over and over again until there's nothing left of you to grow back, are we clear?"

Behind his mask, Wade gave a wide grin.

"Oooh I love it when you talk violent to me, baby. Laterzzz!" he murmured blowing her a kiss, before hanging up the phone and placing it back into his belt.

He turned to the guys stood all around him who were cautiously raising their weapons once more.

"Alright, I've got ten minutes," said Wade giving a nod and grinning widely behind his red and black spandex mask. "Do your worst….."

But instead of raising his own gun, the mercenary instead lifted his hands up in defeat and let out a squeak.

".…pretty please?"

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 **Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck me I'm starving," came the calling voice of Wade as he shoved open the door to Missy's apartment. "Baby, how about you hop up on that kitchen counter like you did last night, and let me eat some of that sweet, sweet-"

But before Wade could utter another word, Missy had appeared in the hallway, placing a hand quickly across his masked mouth and shoving him back against the door.

"Oh wow, this is kinky," Wade somehow managed to mumble beneath her hand, but Missy gave a sharp hiss.

"Shut up, Wade!" she said in hushed tones. "Steve and Sharon are here. For our double date."

She retracted her hand and took a step back.

Missy was this evening, dressed in a pale blue blouse, tight charcoal pencil skirt (which Wade noted made her ass look fucking fine!) and skyscraper high heels. Her caramel hair was up in a high sleek ponytail and to Wade she looked entirely fuckable at this moment, although the look on her face was not really an encouraging sight.

"Of course, how could I forget," said the merc in a playful voice. "A night of small talk with Captain Underpants and his new…. _bae_."

Missy threw a scowl in Wade's direction.

"She's not his bae, Wade," she said in a whisper, glancing covertly over her shoulder. "But I suppose Steve kinda wants her to be."

Behind his mask Wade gave a loud groan.

"Well this is going to be super-duper fun," he murmured in a sarcastic voice. "Watching Old Man Rogers get a boner-"

But Missy suddenly grabbed Wade by his red leather and spandex collar and stepped close to him, her face hovering just a mere breath away from his.

"Wade Wilson," she said in a deadly tone. "I swear to god, if you embarrass me tonight, I'm not going to have sex with you for at least a month."

Behind his mask Wade gave an uneasy gulp.

"Oh I don't think you'd last five minutes-" he began trying to act confident, but his voice betrayed him, instead sounding a little uneasy.

But Missy batted her green eyes at him, before narrowing them slightly.

"Try me, Wade..." she uttered, before taking a step back, letting go of him and turning on her heel, strutting back over into the living room.

Wade, of course, watched her go, giving a needy groan.

"Ughhhhh, you know I can't resist that ass," he called after her, following close behind and rounding the corner.

Sitting there on Missy's couch was, as expected, Steve Rogers dressed in a smart blue shirt and black pants, and at his side was the blonde Sharon Carter.

Wade knew very little about Sharon, but _did_ know that she was one of Missy's close friends, and therefore out of bounds for any teasing. He knew Missy would likely kill him if he even tried anything. And withholding sex was bad enough, without the threat of death to go along with it.

But the room was not filled with the jovial feeling of chitter-chatter one might usually find at a dinner party. Instead the mood was sombre.

Steve and Sharon were sat side-by-side in silence, both looking as awkward as the other.

The both looked up as Wade entered the room.

"Wilson," uttered Steve with a curt nod.

Behind his mask, Wade made a face, but before he had the chance to come back with a sassy retort, he caught sight of Missy as she reappeared around the kitchen door brandishing four wine glasses.

She shot Wade a look of desperation before speaking.

"Dinner's almost ready", she said placing the glasses down onto the dining table. "It'll just be couple more minutes."

She forced a smile.

"You both know...uh, Wade of course," she said, the tops of her cheeks reddening.

"Wade," nodded Sharon politely.

Behind his mask, Wade gave a wide grin, before rubbing his hands together.

"Sharon," he said in an equally polite tone before turning to Steve. "Captain Popsicle."

From the other side of the room Missy gave a scowl.

"Sooooo," said the merc enthusiastically. "Dinner party etiquette... shall I put on a little music to get us in the mood? I would ask for some suggestions, Cap, but I don't think we have anything pre-wartime on the ol' i pod."

A frown line appeared between Steve's brows, but he instead got to his feet, ignoring Wade.

"Need any help in there, Missy?" called the blonde Captain politely, causing Wade to growl under his breath.

But Missy reappeared from the kitchen a second later, giving a smile and carrying a large dish.

"No, I'm good thanks, Steve," said she before turning to Wade. " _Thanks for asking_."

She shot the merc a look, strutting past him and placing the dish down onto the table.

Wade of course, had _meant_ to ask if she needed help….of course he had. Even though he _had_ been two hours late getting home and hadn't done a thing to aid her cooking anything….

But Missy was cool about all that… _right_?

"Alright," she said giving a small sigh and gazing at the table. "I think that's everything…..dinner is served….

Sharon and Steve moved over to the small dining table, the Cap ceremoniously waiting until Sharon was sat down before taking his own seat.

It took everything in Wade's power for him to stop himself from rolling his eyes behind his mask.

Immediately the merc hopped around the table and pulled out Missy's chair for her to sit down in a gentlemanly manner.

Missy lingered on her feet for a moment or two, eyeing Wade carefully, before sitting down and crossing her slender legs as she did so.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the wine had been poured and the polite 'this looks amazing's had been uttered about the food. But Missy was indeed wholly regretting organising this double date.

The meal had just been eaten in what was close to silence. Even Wade was quiet, obviously having considered carefully whether a month without sex was worth his usual smart remarks.

What had she been thinking organising this thing?

When procrastinating in work, the idea and setting Steve and Sharon up together had seemed like a pretty easy feat. But now, here…it seemed like a harder task than she first had realised.

And Wade was being no help whatsoever.

The merc was sat next to her, stretched out, lounging in his seat…still in his red and black Deadpool suit. Even his mask was still on.

Missy knew she would be unlikely to take it off with company here….but still….

Instead of eating, the merc was swirling his untouched wine glass in his gloved hand lazily, his other hand resting on Missy's thigh.

"So," said Sharon after a few minutes of silence had passed and everyone had finished their food. "Have you two set a date yet?"

She looked between Missy and Wade, smiling.

"Not yet," replied Missy, toying with the stem of her own wine glass. "I'm still trying to think of a way to let him down gently."

Her voice was thick with sarcasm and she noticed Wade narrow his white eyes in her direction.

"Oh we're definitely going down the grandiose white wedding route," retorted the merc in a playful tone. "I'm thinking doves, a twenty foot train, and a fucking stunning little white number…and that's just for me. Isn't that right, moon of my life?"

Missy merely tutted, as Wade gave her thigh a squeeze.

"We just haven't got around to any proper planning yet," said Missy firmly, taking a sip of wine.

Wade leaned forward.

"Too much post-engagement fucking," he explained promptly, causing Missy to choke on her drink.

She was _definitely_ going to kill him when all this was over.

"I really don't think that's appropriate dinner table conversation," said Steve giving a cough, the tops of his cheeks slightly pink. "Not with ladies present."

Missy gave an internal groan as she saw Wade's masked head turn Steve's way.

"Missy? A lady? Oh you've obviously never seen her at 11pm when she's wearing nothing but a nice smile. She's a fucking vixen," said the mercenary in a teasing voice. "What's your deal anyway? Jealous because you aren't getting any, Captain Crunch?"

"Wade…" said Missy in a warning voice, as the merc leaned forwards placing his wine glass down. She could see him grinning behind his red and black mask.

Steve gave a scowl.

"I don't think _that_ , is any of your business, Deadpool," said the blonde Avenger in a low voice, staring back at Wade darkly.

"Oh but you're makin' it my business, Cap," uttered Wade, popping the 'p' dangerously.

"Anyone want any dessert!?" said Missy loudly, suddenly getting to her feet.

She grasped Wade beneath his spandex-clad arm.

"Wade, you can give me a hand," she continued through gritted teeth, pulling the mercenary after her.

Missy heard Wade give a grumble, his white eyes still on Steve, but he eventually did as she asked, scraping back his chair and getting to his feet.

Missy strutted quickly into the kitchen with the merc following close behind, shutting the door behind him as he went.

But before Missy was even half way across the room, Wade had gripped her by the waist and turned her to face him, backing her up against the kitchen counter.

"Fuck me….alone at last," he said in a teasing voice, removing his mask and tossing it down onto the counter beside her. "You up for a couple of minutes of heaven, with yours truly?"

He shot her a wide grin, but Missy held him at arm's length.

"I'm going to kill you, Wade," said Missy scowling. "Quit teasing Steve."

Wade smiled. "But Sugar-dimples," he began in a husky voice, his scarred face hovering close to hers. "It's just a bit of playful repartee between friends."

Missy could feel Wade's gloved hands, travelling down the small of her back, heading lower.

But Missy wasn't convinced.

"Since when have you and Steve Rogers been 'friends'?" she asked shooting him a look, her hands sliding up over Wade's firm shoulders, as he grabbed her ass and lifted her onto the counter.

He immediately pressed his hard body into hers and Missy felt herself getting warm…

"Ok, ok…." said Wade licking his lips. "Maybe 'friends' is too strong a word. Maybe _frenemies_ is better."

Before Missy had a chance to murmur a word of disagreement, Wade had captured her mouth with his.

Missy felt a heat swell inside her, as Wade's lips moved slowly and expertly against hers.

And right at that moment every care Missy seemed have slipped right out of the window.

That was until she felt Wade's gloved hand slowly slide up her inner thigh…

"Wade…" she hissed suddenly tearing her mouth away from his. "Stop….we have guests…."

But the merc gave a needy groan, tugging her into him possessively.

"Oh you are such a fucking tease," he uttered with a wide grin, but Missy gave him a quick shove away, hopping down from the counter and readjusting her skirt.

"I'm still mad at you, Wade," she snapped, opening the fridge and pulling out a perfect looking cheesecake. It was of course, store-bought, but her guests didn't need to know that. "I'm trying to create a perfect atmosphere so that Sharon and Steve will finally realise their feelings for one another. And you're just….well, you're just riling him up!"

Wade gave a huff, folding his arms across his broad, spandex-clad chest.

"Well maybe old Stevie, could do with a little riling up, if you catch my drift…" said Wade raising his non-existent eyebrows.

But Missy ignored him.

He could be suck a dick sometimes…

And so placing a slice of cheesecake carefully on three plates (knowing full well, Wade hadn't even touched his main, so he wouldn't eat dessert) Missy strutted across the kitchen on her high-heels, heading back into the living room.

The merc was, as always, hot on her heels, his mask now thrown back over his scarred features.

But as they entered the living room once again Missy stopped in her tracks suddenly, Wade bowling right into her.

"What the eff-" he began, but he too, stopped mid-way through his sentence, as he caught sight of Steve and Sharon.

The pair were sat, still at the dining table, but their bodies were turned into one another, their lips locked.

They of course had sprung apart, pretty much the moment Missy and Wade had entered the room, and were now sat blushing profusely, looking embarrassed.

"I…..um…." said Missy, trying not to giggle and looking anywhere but at the pair.. "Sorry…..do you want us to-"

She gestured back towards the kitchen.

But Sharon, who tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, shook her head.

"Oh no, no!" she uttered, getting suddenly to her feet. "Me and Steve were just….um…..clearing the plates….before dessert."

"Good save," said Wade throwing Sharon a wink from behind his mask.

Missy instantly elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouchie, that hurt," he whined, but Missy ignored him.

Steve too got to his feet, helping to clear the table with Sharon, looking pink cheeked. The pair rushed past Missy and Wade, avoiding their eyes.

The moment they were out of earshot, Wade leaned into Missy.

"Looks like your matchmaking worked after all, honey-munchkin," he muttered in a hushed voice. "Looks like Sharon's going to be trying to thaw out Rogers' shrivelled old popsicle-penis after all."

Missy wrinkled her nose and turned back to the merc.

"Ugh, you're disgusting," she said giving him a shove. "Remind me why I agreed to marry you again?"

But Wade gave an easy smile. "Uhhhh, because I'm fucking gorgeous, I top the list of superheroes you want the fuck, AND I do that thing with my tongue which drives you crazy when we-"

"Ok, Ok point taken," said Missy rolling her eyes and shoving him away once again, as Steve and Sharon reappeared, still blushing.

"Ok, then," said Steve enthusiastically clapping his hands together, obviously not wanting to dwell on what Missy and Wade had just witnessed. "Cheesecake. Looks great, Missy."

Missy smiled, placing the plates down onto the table.

"Thanks," she uttered, chancing a glance back at Wade and shooting him a grin. "It's a family recipe."

Wade grinned back.

"It's why I'm marrying her," he said in a affectionate voice, placing his arm lovingly around her shoulders.

Sharon and Steve smiled gently, glancing at one another, both obviously feeling the love in the room.

But Missy wasn't convinced. She knew Wade Wilson too well…

"Well…" continued the merc giving a shrug, as Missy mouthed along with the words. "…that and the sex."

* * *

 **So I've started up this fic again. Intermittently, I'll admit. If you enjoyed it and wanted me to carry on, please let me know.**

 **Thanks to DjDragon1, dancindonna, Legolas Girl 31, Guest, AngiMK and RealHuntress for reviewing the last chapter.**

 **You want more Missy/Wade? let me know what you thought of it. What bits did you like?**

 **Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

It was 10am on a Friday morning, and Missy' apartment was quiet and empty.

The tall, blonde woman had left for work with the merc two hours ago. He had a job on across town, but Missy hadn't really paid attention to what it involved. All she knew was that he had taken with him a butt-load of ammo and a spare set of guns.

But suddenly raised voices were heard outside her front door, and in a second, Missy and Wade had bustled through, into the living room.

"I blame you for this!" said Missy with a scowl, pointing her finger at the merc as she strode through the room, with him close at her heels.

She was today, dressed in a navy pencil skirt, navy blouse and nude high heels, her long caramel-hair tired back in a sleek ponytail.

But her face was fixed. Furious.

"Hey I'm not taking full responsibility for this!" muttered Wade defensively, he too, scowling behind his mask. "I wasn't the _only_ one involved. You are as much to blame as me."

Missy stopped suddenly, turning to him, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

"Oh I am SO going to kill you," she uttered icily, jabbing him in his spandex-clad chest with her polished fingernail. "Over and fucking over again."

Wade scoffed, but he couldn't help but gulp nervously as Missy turned on her heel, stalking into the bedroom.

Pulling her purse from her shoulder, she suddenly and without warning tipped it upside-down, emptying it's contents out onto the bed.

"Now babe, you just need to chill," uttered Wade, strolling up behind her, his mouth full of food, a second or two later.

At this Missy immediately swung around to face him.

"Are you really eating a left-over burrito of mine from last night? Like right now?" she snarled, shaking her head incredulously.

Wade, who was leant up against the doorframe, popped the last of the snack into his half-unmasked mouth.

"What?" he uttered defensively. "I get hungry when I'm nervous."

Missy shot him another scowl before snatching up a small white paper package from the bed.

"I swear to God-" she said venomously. But she stopped short, shaking her head, turning away and heading into the bathroom.

"Let me know if you need a hand-" cried Wade, as the door slammed loudly in his face, causing the entire apartment to shudder.

A moment passed...

Then another...

Wade approached the door, leaning his spandex-covered ear against it. He gave a frown.

"Are you peeing yet?" he questioned.

Instantly Missy let out an irritated roar.

"FUCK. OFF" she shouted, sounding like her teeth were gritted.

Wade gave a pout behind his mask.

A second went by...

"I can hold the little stick for you if that helps, my beautiful honey-bee?" he asked in a sickly-sweet tone.

But there came no answer. Only a flush and the sound of the faucet being run.

Wade gave a gulp. Waiting...

A moment later, the door was snatched open and out walked Missy, that same frown still plastered between her brows.

"It takes two minutes," she said with a huff, gesturing back towards the bathroom.

She sat down on the bed, slowly replacing the contents of her handbag.

"I can distract you for two minutes..." said Wade in a cheery voice.

Missy narrowed her eyes again, staring up at him.

"We are NOT having sex, if that's what you're suggesting," she snapped. "That's what got us into this trouble in the first place!"

Wade folded his bulging arms across his chest grumpily.

"Ok, fiiiiine!" he said in a child-like manner. "But I could...tell some jokes?"

Missy narrowed her eyes, folding her own arms across herself, mirroring his pose.

"No?...Ok then, how about...impressions? I do a great one of Ol' Man Logan..."

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Alright, alright. A magic trick?" he instead offered.

"Unless you're making yourself disappear, then I'm not interested..." Missy uttered coolly.

Wade gave her a simpering smile behind his mask.

"How about-"

"Wade, can we just not!" she said cutting across him, giving a sudden sigh and staring down at the purse on her lap.

Wade fell silent, watching her quietly for a long moment. Her shoulders slumped, and worry all over her pretty features.

Wade came to slowly sit beside her, his spandex suit squeaking slightly as he did so.

"You know it'll all be ok...either way..." he said, tugging off his mask and placing an arm around her shoulders.

Missy glanced up at him, giving a half smile as he stroked at her arm.

"I know," she said with a smirk, nudging him in the side.

A short silence fell over the pair.

"How long's left?" asked Wade, his knee bouncing up and down impatiently.

"About a minute," said Missy, staring up nervously towards the open bathroom door, fiddling with the clasp on her purse.

"When I got your call..." said Wade grinning. "I thought you were fucking dying or something...almost gave me a fucking heart-attack."

"I was being sick in the bathroom of SHEILD Headquarters, with Natasha Romanoff in the next cubicle. I fucking WISH I had been dying!" uttered Missy, giving a huff.

"So you were sick..." said Wade after a long second. "What else makes you think you might be pre-"

"Um, can we not say the P-word JUST yet!" snapped Missy, quickly covering Wade's mouth with her hand.

Wade gave a small frown as Missy tugged her hand away.

"Well," she said biting her lip. "I'm kinda... _.late._ "

Wade's frown deepened.

"Late for what?" he asked lifting up his spandex sleeve and checking the time on his small pink cartoon watch. "I...Ohhhhhh."

Realisation dawned upon him slowly. He gave a knowing nod as Missy did too.

"Like, late late..." he said, his eyebrows shooting up into his non-existent hairline, as he let out a long puff of air.

Missy leaned over him, moving his wrist and checking the time on his watch.

"Ok..." She said in a nervous voice. "Well I guess this is it..."

With that, she got to her feet, as Wade stared up at her, giving a gulp.

With her head hanging low at her chest she strutted quickly into the bathroom on her high heels.

Wade ran a hand across his scarred features, his breathing shallow in his chest.

He could do this...right?

A second later Missy appeared...holding the stick in her hand.

Wade got instantly to his feet, his brown eyes fixed to hers.

She stared up at him, her lips parting...

"It's...it's negative..." she said, letting out a long breath, blinking a couple of times.

Wade gave another gulp.

"That's...that's good, _right_?" he said trying as hard as he could to read her face.

Missy nodded giving a small smile.

"Yeah...of course it is," she said reassuringly, walking swiftly past him and popping the stick into the waste basket.

Wade frowned, staring at her, as she gazed down at the trash for the longest of moments...

Wade gave a small sigh.

He came up slowly behind Missy, pressing a small kiss into her hair, wrapping his strong arms around her waist.

...Neither of them uttering a word as the minutes slipped by...

Missy eventually turned, lifting her hands to Wade's shoulders, and giving him a gentle smile.

"I love you, y'know," she said gazing up into his eyes.

Wade grinned, his hands still lingering at her waist.

"Oh I know ," he murmured, leaning down and kissing her softly as Missy smiled into his mouth.

A second later she pulled away.

"And at least this means we don't have to be responsible adults _just_ yet," said Wade with a shrug, staring down at her.

Missy cocked an eye at the merc.

"As if _you_ will ever be a responsible adult, Wade," she said teasingly, giving him a small shove.

Wade stared adoringly over at her, as Missy strutted over to her bureau, glancing at her reflection in the mirror above it.

She pulled at her long ponytail.

"All this though," she said after a minute, shooting the spandex-clad mercenary a look. "It still doesn't explain why I was so sick this morning?"

Wade gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Hmmm," he murmured easily. "Maybe it was the...Ohhhhh-"

Wade paled slightly, staring down at his stomach as it gave a loud grumble.

Missy pulled her hands down from her hair giving a frown, staring at him carefully.

"You ok?" she asked.

But before she could utter another word, Wade had merely muttered he word _'burritos_ ' before striding into the bathroom, a gloved hand clutched quickly over his mouth.

Missy's eyes followed him as he disappeared around the door, and a sudden horrible retching sound was suddenly heard.

The sound of Wade Wilson violently puking into her toilet.

Missy pursed her lips together giving a sigh.

"That explains it," she muttered lightly, before turning back to the mirror once more, a small smile upon her face.

* * *

 **Just a short one. But I hope it was ok? I hope people are still reading. I'm not really getting as much feedback from these chapter as I normally would so I may decide to call it a day. I'm not too sure yet.**

 **But anyway thanks to jeffhardyluvsme, jonstar1034, Legolas Girl 31, RealHuntress18, dancindonna and Raging Raven for reviewing the last chapter.**

 **Please review! :)**


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